


Drunk Confessions

by vic16



Category: The Outsiders - All Media Types, The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Confession, Love, M/M, Wow I actually wrote something, drunk, probably ooc cause I’m horrible whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-13 15:25:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14751449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vic16/pseuds/vic16
Summary: Dally gets drunk and meets up with Johnny. Johnny helps him out, and Dally says some things he’ll regret.(Told from Dally and Johnny’s POVs)





	1. Chapter 1

I stumbled down the street, drunk off my ass from a night out at Buck’s. I had left after Buck and I got into an argument about... whatever we were yelling about. I must have broke something. 

There wasn’t anywhere to go, really. I couldn’t go back to Buck’s, cause I didn’t wanna deal with that ass. And I didn’t want to go home, since I didn’t want to deal with my dad, another ass. So, unsure of what the hell I was doing, I ended up in the lot. Technically I was heading for the Curtis’ place, but I stopped in the lot when I spotted Johnny. 

He was laying on the ground, and I thought he might of been asleep. But when I got close, Johnny jumped up in surprise. 

Johnny frowned, looking me over and squinting his eyes. He rubbed them like he couldn’t believe what he was looking at. “Dall..?” He whispered, his voice low and hoarse. “What are you doin here?”

I sat down next to the kid, not answering him immediately. Running a hand through my pale hair, I let out a long sigh. There was a slight slur in my voice as I spoke, but I didn’t care. “You got a weed, kid?” 

Johnny shoved his hands in his pockets, fumbling around before handing over a pack and a lighter. It took me longer than it should have to get out the cigarette out, but I got it. I lit it and took a drag, looking at Johnny and cocking an eyebrow. He was giving me weird looks. 

“What?” I moved towards him, leaning my face in real close. “What are you looking at, Johnnycake?”

Johnny swallowed, turning his head as I blew smoke in his face. “Nothin, Dally. Jeez, you smell of booze. How much you been drinking?”

“Bah.” I snorted. “What’s it to you, Johnnycake?” I chuckled a bit at that, though I dunno what was so funny about it. “I’m good. Mind if I sleep here with you?”

“Well, I wasn’t gonna stay here the whole night. And it’s gonna rain, you shouldn't be out anyway.”

“Just cause I’m drunk, you’re my mum now?” I teased Johnny, staring up at the sky. Dark clouds covered up the moon and all the stars. Small droplets were scattered on the pavement around us, and I knew Johnny was right. I climbed to my feet, looking down at him. 

“Then I guess we can’t stick around here.” I said, offering the kid my hand. Johnny took it, avoiding eye contact as I tugged him to his feet, almost falling over in the process. He muttered something about the Curtis place, and we started walking. I guessed we were heading there. 

I wasn’t usually this laidback or obedient to anyone, but Johnny was a different story. He was a good kid. A great kid. He was better than anyone else in this stupid gang. Johnny didn’t deserved to be here, stuck with us and his stupid parents. 

“Stupid.. parents...” I muttered under my breath, feeling Johnny grab my arm. I wasn’t sure if I was blacking out or plain exhausted. I was always exhausted. He pulled me closer so I didn’t fall over or wander off. The two of us, slowly but surely, made our way to the Curtis brothers house. 

“Darry? Pony? Soda?” Johnny asked, his voice low as we stepped into the house. The lights were all off, and no one was around, so everyone must have been asleep. I was relieved, not wanting any of the boys to see me like this. Drunk and hanging on to little Johnnycakes. 

We laid on the couch together, Johnny practically on top of me so we could have enough space. We both knew that Soda’s old room was still around, and one of us could have gone there. But neither of us mentioned it. Johnny has his head against my chest, his dark hair getting in my face. I didn’t really mind, but I shoved him and cussed at him anyway. Though, being drunk and exhausted, it couldn’t of been very threatening. 

Johnny frowned, leaning against me. He was pushed sideways against the back of the couch. I was half falling off. But it was nice. 

“Johnnycake?” I whispered, my voice quiet and confused sounding. “You know... you know I really...” I trailed off, forgetting where I was going with it for a moment. Then I continued, saying things I knew sober-Dally would regret. 

“Johnnycake, you’re a real special kid.” I whispered, running a hand through his hair, my eyes shut. “You don’t deserve any of this shit, yknow?”

Johnny looked up at me as I spoke to him, quiet as he listened. 

“You deserves so much more than we can give you, Johnny.” I muttered, my eyes closing. Then, before I fell asleep, I leaned over to Johnny. 

“I love you,” I gave him a peck on the lips, “so much.”

I was asleep before I could hear his response.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, I woke up with a headache. My head pounded as I opened my eyes, slowly realizing I was laying by myself on the couch. The Curtis boys couch. I heard low voices from the kitchen, which seemed to be Johnnycakes and... Pony, maybe. Yeah, Ponyboy Curtis. 

There voices were quiet, and my head was louder, so I couldn’t make out what they were saying. But I thought I heard my name, which got me curious. I slowly sat up, hissing at the pain in my head. What did I even do last night? I couldn’t remember. 

Heading over to the kitchen, I listened as their voices became much clearer. 

“Yeah, I dunno, Pony. I walked him here, we lied down, and he just... did that.” Johnny was saying. I peeked into the kitchen, and neither of them seemed to notice. Pony was sitting on the counter, and Johnny was facing away from me. I leaned up against the doorway, trying to look cool, even if I felt like shit. 

“He just kissed you?” Pony asked, his voice barley above a whisper. “Dallas Winston kissed—” Pony stopped, and the two of us made eye contact. I tried to look calm, like I hadn’t heard what he just said. Kissed? What does he mean? Did I kiss Johnny? No, no way. That would be fucking gay. I don’t swing that way. 

Johnny turned as well, his face paling at the sight of me. But he tried to play it off cool. “Oh, morning, Dally.” His voice cracked. 

I nodded at him, unsure of what to do. I wanted to get out of here as quick as I could, run away and never come back. But I had to know what had happened last night. I couldn’t have kissed Johnny. Not really. 

“Uh, yeah. Mornin.” I whispered, glancing around. “Where’s everyone else?”

“It’s 5am. They’re asleep.” Pony said. He was giving me weird looks, and I wanted to punch his lights out for it. 

“Jeez.” I muttered, avoiding looking at either of them. “Okay. Right.” That was all I could think of to say, before I turned and left. Neither of them said anything, so I didn’t know if it was a good or bad thing. I left the house, slamming the door behind me. 

Walking down the street, I tried to remember anything that had happened last night. There was Buck’s party, which was extremely fuzzy. Leaving the party was the last thing that I could remember. I cursed under my breath as I kicked rocks on the pavement. 

Johnnycakes had told Pony I had kissed him. Though, maybe he didn’t. I didn’t hear the whole conversation. Maybe they meant some other weirdo had kissed him. And then they talked about me kissing... some girl. 

“Yeah, that’s probably it.” I muttered. Now I was talking to myself? Great. 

‘Cause, I couldn’t have kissed Johnny. That was gay. Gays are creeps. That couldn’t of been what happened. I blocked out any thoughts of that. I blocked out what they were saying in the kitchen. I blocked out the faint memory of the two of us lying on the couch together. I blocked out whispering to Johnny, telling him that I loved him. That didn’t happen. 

I was heading out of greaser territory, though I didn’t really care. I had a knife in my pocket. I could take on anyone that came near me, even in the crappy condition I was in. But it was early in the morning, and I doubted there were many Socs around anyway. 

So I continued down the street, blocking out all my thoughts as I focused on my surroundings. Nice houses and green grass. Shiny cares and older people giving me looks. Whatever. I didn’t care about that. 

I didn’t care about anything.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Switching to Johnny’s POV!

I sat on the couch with Ponyboy, trying to relax and watch tv like everything was completely fine. Which it wasn’t. 

It had been difficult for me to sleep that night. After what Dally said to me, I was really shaken up. Dally had kissed me, and I could not get over that. I laid there with him for most of the night, trying to get some decent sleep, but I never did. Then once morning came around, I had carefully gotten up, and ran for Ponyboy’s room. 

I dragged him out of bed, being careful not to wake up his brother Soda. Ponyboy had been pretty mad to be woken up at 6am on a Saturday, let me tell you. But I explained that it was an emergency. 

Ponyboy had let me drag him to the kitchen, trying to be quiet and not wake up Dally. I had started explaining what happened, in a low, quick voice. 

“So he came by the lot, and he was drunk, right? And it was late so I came here with him, and we went to sleep on the couch together. B-But, but He was all...” I ran a hand through my hair, wishing I had taken my pack of smokes back from Dally. “He started complimenting me, and bein all... different. They he leaned in, and said he loved me! And he kissed me! I was trying to be quiet, but I was bouncing around too much. 

Pony took a seat up on the counter, frowning and leaning his head against a cupboard. “Dally... kissed you? Like, on the cheek?”

“No, on the mouth, Pony.”

Pony frowned, staring at me. “Did you like it?”

“What kind of question is that?” I hissed. I’m assuming he asked that because.. Pony knows I’m gay. I’m gay, and he’s the only one I’ve told. I would of told Dally, but I knew he didn’t like gays. They made him uncomfortable. That just added to the confusion. “But... yeah, I dunno, Pony. I walked him here, we lied down, and he just... did that.”

Pony laughed, shaking his head at me. His voice got a lot quieter. “Sorry, I... I just. he just kissed you? Dallas Winston—” Pony stopped, looking at something behind me. I turned as well, seeing Dally standing in the doorway. 

We said a few words to each other before Dally just walked out, and Pony and I looked at either other. I flinched at the sound of the door slamming, sighing and leaning back against the fridge. 

That’s when Pony and I silently decided to go and sit on the couch, watching tv. I didn’t want to talk about Dally anymore, and tried to put it out of my mind, at least until I could talk to Dally again. Though, I doubted he would ever want to speak of it. 

I ended up dozing off for a while, and when I woke up, Pony was making breakfast. Sodapop was awake too, hanging out in the kitchen with Pony. I got up, wiping my eyes and trying to fix my bedhead. Stepping into the kitchen, I watched Pony standing over the stove, cooking eggs. Soda was talking to him about the night before, when he was out with Steve and Two-Bit. Apparently they were drinking and almost ran over Steve with their car... Soda wasn’t allowed out of the house for a little while. 

Ponyboy looked at me, giving a small wave. Good thing Soda was here. I didn’t want Pony to ask any more questions about last night. Hopefully Dally would be around again soon. I didn’t want him to get into too much trouble. 

I helped to set the table, since I’d be eating with them. I wasn’t originally planning on staying for breakfast. But Pony said he was already making something for me. So I couldn’t really say no. Darry had woken up by the time everything was done, and the four of us ate together. I was quiet while the rest of them talked, and I was comfortable with that. Until the conversation topic changed to me. Soda had been teasing Pony about Cherry Valance, this girl he knew. He was teasing Pony, asking if the two were going out yet. When Pony made him drop it, he asked me. 

“What about you, Johnny? That girl you’re always hanging around.. Mandy?”

Mandy was a friend of mine, yeah. She was a greaser girl who happened to live near me, and it wasn’t much more than that. I obviously don’t have feelings for her, being gay and all, and she has a boyfriend. 

“Nah, Soda. You leave him alone.” Pony said, pointing a finger at his older brother. “Johnny doesn’t got much interest in girls.”

“Why?” Soda swallowed a mouthful of eggs. “He’s 16 now, eh? He’s gotta have some interest by now. Unless he’s a gay. Are you gay, Johnny?”

“Soda.” Darry shook his head at Sodapop, nudging his arm. My face was red as I glanced at Ponyboy. 

“Yeah,” Ponyboy took a sip of chocolate milk, “so what if he’s gay? It’s not like that matters.”

“Wait, so he is gay?” Soda looked at me, and I struggled for words. I stammered for a few seconds, my face blushing. Then I glared at Ponyboy, standing up. “Well, I gotta go..”

“What? No, buddy..” Soda started, but I got up, walking out of the room. I didn’t stick around to hear anything else they had to say. I needed to go for a walk.


	4. Chapter 4

It was still pretty early in the morning. People were just getting up, and I was kinda jealous. Even on weekends, I could never sleep very much. Sometimes I could never sleep at all, and I just laid there, staring up at the ceiling. Or the sky, if I was outside. 

I felt embarrassed over what had happened at the Curtis brother’s house, and I scowled myself for getting flustered and running away. I could have just denied it, or joked about it. Now they all knew for sure that I was gay. I knew Ponyboy was okay with it, but I didn’t know how Soda or Darry would feel. 

Darry had never said anything about gays, good or bad. And Soda... well for a while, I actually thought he was gay. Before I knew about Sandy. I wasn’t sure what it was about him, but it made me really like him. Even though Soda has brought gays up a few times, it’s hard to tell what he thinks. He’s weird. 

I kept walking around, not sure where I wanted to go. I passed several other guys around my age, other greasers and kids that I didn’t know all that well. I wondered if they felt the same way; unwelcome and alone. But you couldn’t tell from looking at them. That made me kind of upset. 

I snapped out of my thinking when I spotted someone down the street. Someone leaning against a pole. Someone wearing a leather jacket. Someone with wispy blond hair. 

Someone named Dally. 

My heart started racing as I headed towards him, walking slowly down the street. I didn’t want him to see me yet. I was scared he was going to run away or something, like he was some kind of wild animal. I didn’t want to scare him off. 

As I approached Dally, I got a better look at him. He was smoking one of my cigarettes, his face pressed in concentration as he stared off into the distance. His blue eyes were hard and deep, and his hair blew in his face. My heart raced even faster as I remembered last night. When he looked so vulnerable and kind. Though, seeing him now, I remembered the truth. Vulnerable and kind was not Dallas Winston. 

“Dally?” My voice was low as I looked up at him, standing a few meters away. He flinched when he heard my voice, turning to face me. His expression didn’t change, and he didn’t respond. 

“Hey, Dally. I just... I wanted to ask you about something.” I swallowed, stepping closer to him. “Last night when we—”

“Look.” Dally cut me off, stomping on his cig. “I don’t remember last night, Johnny. I was drinking. I don’t want to talk about it.” His words felt scripted. 

“I just wanted to ask you a question.” I asked him, glancing around. I was thankful that no one was around. If anyone overheard us, they might try to beat the shit out of us. And we were in our own neighbourhood. 

“Did you mean it?” I whispered. “When you... you said you loved me.”

Dally stared at me, and I prepared to be hit. His angry expression, and the way his body shook... I thought for sure that he was about to beat the shit out of me. 

“It didn’t mean shit, Johnny.” Dally whispered, moving closer as he stood straight. “So you better shut your mouth about it. Anyone in the gang hears about this..” he trailed off, shaking his head at me. I decided not to mention that Pony knew, though I was pretty sure he had already overheard us talking about it. 

“Just pretend it didn’t happen.” Dally demanded. “Because.. it didn’t. Now get out of my way.” Dally knocked me to the side with his shoulder as he headed past me, moving quickly down the street. He obviously didn’t want me to follow after him, but.. I did anyways. He started running, and I ran after him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Dally’s POV.

I ran. Once I thought that I was out of sight from Johnny, I ran. 

I didn’t know where I was running to at first. I just let my feet carry me where they wanted to go. It’s not like I could think, anyway. Not over the alarms going off in my head. I didn’t want to admit what happened. I was planning on trying to pretend it didn’t happen, but I screwed it up. Something inside of me wanted to tell Johnny the truth. But I would have to admit it to myself, first. 

I told him that “it didn’t mean shit”. I didn’t have to admit the truth to know that was a lie. Johnny wasn’t that dense either, I knew that. He was a smart kid. Johnny didn’t need this happening to him. Some weirdo like me, adding even more shit onto the pile that was his life. 

The way he looked at me. When he was asking if I loved him, the way he looked at me. It wasn’t anger, or disappointment. I wished that it was something more positive, like hope. Hope that I did love him, because he felt the same way about me. But I was not that naïve. If Johnny even liked guys, which I have no proof of, why would I...

‘Why am even thinking about this? Stop thinking about this. Stop thinking about anything. Just stop thinking. 

I stopped running to catch my breath. I had run off the road several minutes ago, and now I was on a dirt path, in the woods. This was definitely private property, and I definitely wasn’t supposed to be here. But when did that ever stop me before. Besides, I had been here before. 

Just a few more minutes down this path was a lake. A small lake, just sitting in a little clearing. It was surrounded by mud, and was pretty dirty, so no one ever hung around it. That’s why I started coming here. I’d found it one day, and made it my hideaway. Somewhere that I could be with myself, and the flies and frogs. 

Once I reached the lake, I sat down on a log I had set near it. Just so I could sit without getting my ass soaked. I took a breath and stared out at the lake. It always seemed bigger when I saw it, compared to how I thought about it in my head. 

“Dally?” I jumped at the voice, rushing to my feet, my shoes sank a little in the mud, and I turned to see who was here. Johnny. Of course. 

He looked tired, as he must have chased me all the way here, while also being quiet enough that I wouldn’t hear him. He’s a smart little bastard. 

Johnny stepped towards me, his movements slow and careful. I let him come to me. There wasn’t much point in running anymore. He got a few feet in front of me, then began to slip in the mud. 

I reached out and caught Johnny, grabbing his arms to hold him steady. He swallowed, glancing up at me as he stood up straight, only a few inches from my body. Johnny took a few deep breaths, looking away as his face flushed. Was he embarrassed?

“Sorry.” Johnny finally whispered, looking back up at me. I let go of him, but didn’t move back at all, letting my arms drop to my sides. 

“Why?” I asked him. “Why’d you follow me?” I tried to sound angry, but I couldn’t. I wasn’t angry. Just confused, tired, and scared. Confused to as why he would follow me, tired from running, and scared of what he would say next. 

“You weren’t telling the truth.” Johnny looked me in the eye. “I want the truth, Dally. Don’t be afraid to tell me. Why did you kiss me? Why did you tell me that you loved me? Did you mean it?”

“I—” the words caught it my throat. I wanted to say no. I wanted to say “of course not” and push him out of my way. But I couldn’t. Because it was Johnny. And I couldn’t lie to Johnny. 

“Yeah, okay, I kissed you.” I admitted to myself. “I kissed you and told you I loved you, and yeah, I meant it. Because..” I whispered, my voice low. “I’m... I’m gay, Johnnycake.” 

Johnny swallowed, pressing his lips together. I prepared for him to get confused, or scared, or upset with me. To try and find some way to let me down and get away from me. But instead he stopped, standing still for a few moments, staring up into my eyes. Then he laughed. 

“Yeah. Me too.”


	6. Chapter 6

“W-What?” I choked out, my eyes narrowing. Was he joking? I listened to Johnny, standing there, in the mud, in total disbelief to what he was saying.   
gonna

“Dall, I’m gay. I’ve known that for years.” Johnny seemed to relax a little, now that everything was all out in the open. Which was odd for him. “I never told you I was a gay, cause you never liked em. Or, that’s what you said.”

“Yah, I know that.” I snorted, unable to meet Johnnycake’s eyes. “I said that cause... I dunno, I just—”

“I love you too.”

“—never could.. what?” 

“I love you too.” Johnny repeated. We both stared at each other in silence for a couple of seconds. I licked my lips and stared at the ground. 

To tell you the truth, I almost ran away again. I know I told Johnny that I loved him, but the word still freaked me out. I had dumped plenty of girls in the past just for saying it. Girls that got with me just for the challenge and rush of dating a “bad boy”. Then when the “bad boy” that they wanted acts like a total dick, they’re surprised. When the “bad boy” rejects their “love”, they're surprised. 

Johnny wasn’t that kind of person. As soon as he saw that I was getting uncomfortable, he started talking again. He didn’t mention the love thing again.

“Dally, listen, I’ve had a crush on you for a while.” Johnny whispered to me, taking a breath. I could barley hear him over the pounding in my chest. He was staring up into my eyes, and I didn’t know what to do. I was supposed to be this tough guy. This hardened, mean, tough guy. That’s how everyone saw me, and that’s how I liked it. 

But standing here, with Johnny, I didn’t know how to react to anything. I wanted to be here with him. I cared about Johnny. He deserved more than me. I wanted him, but..

But I was scared. Johnny kept talking.”

“I’ve had a crush on you for a long time, Dally. I I just... well, you know how some people treat gays. I thought you were one of those people. I thought that if you confessed, you’d hate me.”

“Johnnycake.” I sighed, looking him over. “I’d never.. you know I’d never hate you, man.”

“Yeah..” Johnny gave a hint of a smile. “But, you know. Maybe we... maybe we should get out of here. Go get something to eat, or something.”

“Right.” I looked back at the dirt path we’d come from. I’d forgotten the last time I’d actually eaten anything. 

I stepped out of the mud, and Johnny followed suit. Our shoes were covered in mud, and it was really cold out, so the walk back was not pleasant. It didn’t bother me, though. I had a lot of other things on my mind. 

Johnny walked close beside me, holding onto my arm. He was warm. I didn’t mind. Johnny looked like he wanted to say more to me, like ask questions and talk about where we were going from here. But we just walked, and I was great with that. 

One we reached the edge of the woods, Johnny slowed down. 

“Hey, Dall? Can we just.. stop for a second?” He asked, and I stopped walking. 

“What is it?” I asked, and less than a second later, Johnny’s lips were on mine. 

I almost shoved the kid away in surprise, my hands immediately moving to his chest. For a second I wanted him off of me, I wanted to get mad at him for it. But then I just stood still, not returning the kiss or pushing away. My eyes slowly closed as I began to let it happen, kissing Johnny, leaving my hands to rest on his chest. 

Johnny pulled away, his face slightly red as he stepped back, mumbling an apology. 

I looked at Johnny for a few more seconds, taking him in. The way his dark hair fell in his face, the way his hands fumbled and twitched. His red face, his black eyes, his soft lips. I took Johnny by the arm, giving him a slight tug forward. We stepped out of woods, and out of the gate surrounding it.

We were back in the real world, everything that just happened feeling like a dream. The sun was brighter, and there was noise everywhere. Cars driving, people walking, the wind blowing. 

Johnny and I walked together, though I let go of his arm as soon as we reached the sidewalk. He didn’t seem to mind.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow I managed to write somehing for once.  
> I wrote this right before I went to sleep, and I haven’t read it all over so... enjoy.


End file.
